Damp, snot-filled tissues litter the bed. Periodically, a stiffened one falls from a sleeve or the nightstand. I can hardly open my eyes. Any sound or sudden movement could make my head explode and then it comes….. “Mommy, I can’t find pants.” “Can I watch tv?” “I forgot to do my homework.” “Mom, I don’t like what you gave me for lunch.” I can’t disappear beneath the covers. Ignoring their calls isn’t an option. I don’t have a minute to find my glasses because a blurred figure is already standing over me begging for help. This is life without my husband.

My husband is a saint

He committed himself to someone already married to a career. That career in television news involved following me to the city where I got a job, saying goodbye to me a day after our honeymoon for a long assignment five hours away and raising our daughters as a working father for the first several years of their lives.

Technically, I was a working mom. But honestly, he was the one balancing it all- a full-time job, carpool, activities, meals, bathing and bed most nights, and keeping up with them on weekends (yes, his only days off) alone. He was the man pushing babies 14-months apart in carts through the grocery for food, formula and diapers. My husband cleaned while they napped. He also made dinner bringing it to the tv station with the girls on weekend nights, so we could have family dinners. I’ve never for one moment taken him or his sacrifices for our family for granted. It’s one of the reasons I decided to leave my career in news nearly three years ago.

My husband is traveling more for work

Now, three years later, I’m the mom doing it all- juggling a full time job, the house, the meals, the two girls, and all of their activities. It’s tough. I’m highly productive rising earlier in the morning, moving from one item on my well-planned to-do list to the next and getting everyone fed and where they need to be. But when dad is away, little goes as planned. I have to maintain a sense of humor about it to keep my sanity, so…. when dad is away, mom will pay (for all those moments that I wasn’t home).

This is how it always plays out….

1. At least one person and typically the dog get sick. This time, it’s me. But number one rule of solo parenting, no sick days. I’m up and moving. The girls are at school. I’m at work. Everything is okay. Just don’t expect me to remember anything except my name.
2. The girls have a special event during the work day. Today, a very last minute project was given to me 10-minutes before I needed to leave for a kindergarten Thanksgiving presentation. I only made it because it started late.
3. Something breaks. It was a double whammy this time- a leaking roof and dead phone, which cut off most communication until I was able to find time to replace it 6 hours later.
4. Unexpected weather moves into the area. That first morning without my husband, I woke to snow on the ground. Not a big deal unless you live in Alabama. Just the mention of the “s” word sends people running to the store for bread and milk and school districts delaying or cancelling school outright. No delays this time. But de-icing the car and convincing the girls to get dressed required extra time on an already busy morning. (You really don’t realize how far an extra set of hands go in the battle to brush hair, find clothes, pack lunches, make breakfast and get to school on time.) This weather also caused travel problems for my husband whose flights were delayed and nearly cancelled. Keeping track of him and helping to coordinate other possible travel plans became even more complicated without a working phone.

My husband is my teammate

We are surviving these few days without my husband as we always do. But when he’s gone, I miss him dearly. We’re a team. Without my MVP, things get dicey at times. It’s in those moments that I love him even more for juggling life with two girls for three years with little assistance from me while I was on assignment. It’s also in those moments that I’m in true wonder and awe of every man and woman who is or has raised children on their own without that second set of hands.